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‘It felt like a huge violation’: Ontario family shocked to find their loved one’s obituary on website without their consent

A Scarborough family says a copy of their loved one's obituary was posted on a website to solicit donations without their knowledge or consent.

An Ontario family that recently found their loved one’s obituary on a third-party website was shocked when the company was asking for donations for in-memoriam gifts.

“Most people don’t know it’s happening,” said Ayoma de Silva of Scarborough.

It was on Dec. 23, 2024 when de Silva’s stepfather Paul Ross died suddenly just days before Ross and his wife Chandra were to celebrate their 30th anniversary.

“He loved his vacations,” said de Silva. “He worked right up until he passed away. It was really a shock for family and friends.”

Obituary posted without consent A photo of Paul Ross is seen on the left. Ross's stepdaughter and widow are seen on the right.

The family posted Ross’s obituary with the funeral home’s website that handled their funeral services, but were concerned when they heard from family members who said they had made donations in his memory.

After they searched the funeral home’s website, there was no record of the donations there.

“We looked at the funeral home website which is the only place we authorized it to be and there was nothing there,” said del Silva.

The family said when they searched the internet they found Ross’ obituary had been copied to the website Echovita, which was charging to plant trees or light virtual candles in honour of Ross without their consent.

“I felt it was a huge violation. It was my stepfather’s information that was very sacred to us and I didn’t think anyone had the right to publish his information without our consent and approval,” said de Silva.

When de Silva contacted Echovita they removed Ross’s obituary from their website.

Scarborough family A Scarborough family says a copy of their loved one's obituary was posted on a website to solicit donations without their knowledge or consent.

‘A deceptive practice’

CTV News Toronto reached out to Echovita and a spokesperson said in a statement, “Echovita is a Canadian organization that centralizes, aggregates and amplifies publicly available obituaries to inform the general public of a passing. Our mission is to make public information more easily accessible, free of charge. We comply with all Canadian laws and have all the necessary authorizations to operate in Canada.”

“Similarly to a funeral home’s offering, a loved one can send flowers to the funeral home on their behalf or purchase other services in memory of the deceased: it’s up to them to choose what suits them best. We are particularly sensitive to the wishes and requests made by friends and families of a deceased.”

“In this particular case, the obituary was immediately removed from our website after we received the request. One person lit a virtual candle, which was refunded when we removed the obituary. Two people chose to plant 10 memorial trees, at $49 for each bundle of 10. Those memorial trees were planted and each of those customers received a certificate regarding the memorial trees planted.”

According to the Bereavement Authority of Ontario (BAO), there are companies that cut and paste obituaries onto their website and consumers should be aware of them.

“There are companies out there that continue to make money by reposting obituaries without permission or even the knowledge of grieving families,” said David Brazeau, Communications Manager with the BAO.

In 2019, a company called ‘Afterlife’ was ordered to pay $20 million dollars in a class-action lawsuit for being in breach of copyright laws.

Echovita insists it is making obituaries available to inform the public. Brazeau said if you are making donations, you should make sure you know where the money is going.

“Call your local funeral home and make sure it’s the real thing. This way you can have peace of mind that a donation is being made with consent of the grieving family,” said Brazeau.

“Technically they are not breaking the law but it’s a deceptive practice,” said de Silva. “They are sharing confidential information without the consent of the family.”

When searching for an obituary, double check the site you’re on. Before making any donations, check with the family to see if it is an authorized website.

To be extra sure, the BAO also suggests scrolling to the bottom of the funeral establishment’s homepage and see if there is a “Licensed by the BAO” badge, as only licensed businesses are allowed to display.